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mindful minute

We are freed and imprisoned by our thoughts

Your boss is a witch. Your partner is lazy. Your best friend won’t return your calls.

It is easy to feel victimized by our lives.  How much of your destiny do you control? How much are you a victim of circumstance and how much are you a victim of yourself?

Early life experiences have a significant impact on our development and our adult relationships. Negative events in our past shaped our minds, our emotions and our behaviors in ways in which we are unaware. Do your reactions that puzzle you? Are you baffled when you “lose it”?

Certain events trigger the memories of  stresses we felt as children and reactivate the behaviors we developed to cope with those feelings. If these triggers are set off, we are instantly transported back to when we were small and vulnerable.

The vulnerable child’s voice can affect you in all your present day relationships. It can leave you at odds with authority figures and created distance between you and your partner.

What can we do when these early influences sabotage us in our adult lives? There is an inner critic in every person that comments on and informs us of our actions. This inner critic nudges us to see the world through a negative filter.  This internal dialogue shuts us down during moments of tension.

What can you do?

1. Identify what your inner critic is telling us about yourself.

2. Work to become conscious of the unconscious influences from your past.

3. Separate yourself from your critical voice and act according to who you truly are.

When we aren’t mindful of the voices that are influencing us to relive old patterns, we tend to select people who fit in with our old identity, and we relate to them in ways that recreate a comfortable negativity from our past.

This voice keeps us from our goals and diverts us from our destiny. No matter how painful or unpleasant our past experiences may have been, we adapted to them, they became comfortable despite their negativity.

Recognizing this internal enemy helps us understand our behavior and make sense out of bad choices. We can instead take actions that are in our own self-interest.

Taking these actions will increase your sense of self and weaken this internal enemy. Soon you will feel more comfortable with these new behaviors.

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