How do we create more happiness? Is the key to happiness found in letting go? Are you willing to give up the following 5 things?
1. The habit of blaming. Blaming others does not absolve you of taking responsibility for your own well being. It takes away energy from you moving forward and finding a solution.
2. The need to impress. Accept who you are. Embrace your flaws, skills and vulnerability. Get comfortable in your own skin.
3. Being a victim. Bad things happen to good people. Life can be unfair. If you identify as a victim rather than a victor you can not nurture your ability to move beyond unhappiness.
4. Feeling entitled. If you live your life with the feeling that you are owed things, you will be disappointed. Be grateful for what you have. See positive things as bonuses rather than owed expectations.
5. Pretending. Are you trying to show the world that you are flawless in hopes that you will be liked? There is beauty in our vulnerability. If we are authentic, we open ourselves for a true connection with others.
Deciding what not to do may be more important than deciding what to do. In an age of excess everything, can we add value to our lives by subtracting? If you find yourself already overburdened, stressed and miserable, loosen those white knuckles and let go. You have a lot to lose. And, that may be a good thing.
Are you overfed and undernourished? Most people in North America are nutritionally deficient.
It is a mistake is to think that if you eat a lot of calories, your diet delivers the nutrients your body needs. The average diet is too energy dense (too many calories) but nutrient poor (not enough vitamins and minerals). These “empty calories” confuse the metabolism and pack on pounds.
Processed food is less nutritious. It is stuffed with high fructose corn syrup, refined flours and trans fats. These foods are inexpensive and convenient. Our grandparents wouldn’t recognize most of the foods filling the aisles of our grocery stores today. Most store bought foods today are laced with chemicals, such as nitrates, used to process and preserve.
Soil is being depleted. Industrial farming is depleting the nutrients in farmland. Most vegetables harvested today have fewer nutrients than those just two generations ago. Because foods contain fewer nutrients, the servings we do eat don’t deliver as much nutrition as before. Fewer nutrients lowers immunity and increases vulnerability to chronic disease and obesity. If your body doesn’t get the right nutrition, it asks for more food. This creates a cycle of craving, eating more, getting fatter, but still not feeling satisfied and craving more.
Refining kills nutrients. Foods are stripped of their nutrients during the refining process. A primary example is wheat. Refining whole wheat flour into white reduces the fiber by 80 percent and reduces essential minerals, vitamins, and phytonutrients. Food manufacturers sometimes add synthetic versions of the most important vitamins and minerals back into food and call the food “enriched.” Beware of “enriched foods” because theses products have been stripped in the first place.
How can I get more nutrient-rich calories?
- Eat more organic plant-based foods: Fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains They are high in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, anti-inflammatory compounds, fiber, and essential fatty acids. These foods eliminate many triggers of chronic illness, such as saturated fat, trans fat, sugar and toxic food additives.
- Use healthy plant-based fats: extra-virgin olive oil, flax, nuts, and seeds.
- Eat modest amounts of lean animal protein: fish, turkey, chicken or wild game.
- Food is your best medicine. Whole foods have nutrients that work synergistically to optimize your health. They reduce inflammation, boost detoxification, balance hormones, and provide powerful antioxidant protection. If you choose to eat mindfully, you can repair the underlying causes of disease.
Written By: Mark Fontaine
You know who they are. They surround you. People who drain all the positive energy out of you. They have an insatiable hunger for negativity. They leave drained, exhausted, and unhappy people in their wake. They can make our lives miserable if we don’t have strategies to deal with them.
How can you spot these people?
They are intrusive.
They don’t respect personal boundaries.
They are overly critical of everyone and everything.
They are chronic whiners and complainers.
They are argumentative.
They are demanding.
They have a sense of entitlement.
They are unable to accept personal responsibility.
Don’t allow their problems to become yours. Here are 3 strategies to slay Energy Vampires.
1. Identify them early. Their quirkiness may intrigue you. Their gossip, hard luck stories and dramatics may entertain you. Pay close attention to your instincts and your physical reactions after your encounters. Are you experiencing muscle tension, loss of energy, headaches, irritability, sadness, or negativity?
2. Limit your contact. Now that you’ve identified them, limit the amount of time you allow them. Set firm limits. You should start off conversations with, “I only have a few minutes before I have to [fill in the blank].” Once the time has expired, disengage.
3. Don’t get pulled in. You may be tempted to fix their problems. You won’t. Negative people will resist your help or create new crises in their lives. Resist offering solutions. You may choose to say, ” I’m confident that you’ll be able to find the solution on your own”. Excuse yourself and walk away. Be firm in a gentle and empathic way.
Positive energy is a precious commodity. It’s not something you should willingly give up. You can choose to keep a positive attitude by surrounding yourself with positive people who leave you feeling upbeat and energized.
Black Friday is giving us a black eye. We have allowed the holiday season to degenerate into a riotous crush to purchase cheap electronics and appliances. The mobs outside the big box superstores are more desperate and violent than a UN emergency feeding station in Darfur Africa. People are being shot and pepper sprayed.
What does this say about us as a society and culture? Rather than spending Thanksgiving at home enjoying the company of our loved ones, we are camped out in an electronics store parking lot. It appears that half off the price of a flat screen T.V. is more important than fostering our relationships.
No wonder we have unprecedented political rancour. We hold the dollar and the pursuit of self-indulgent toys over the well-being of ourselves and our loved ones. We have become so self-absorbed, we won’t acknowledge and foster the needs and desires of others. Others are seen as an impediment to our rights, liberty and freedom.
How does this end? Are we left standing alone cocooned by many luxurious possessions and surrounded by a scorched earth? If you don’t like what you see this holiday season, be mindful to be the change you seek.
Where have all the blueberries gone? Take a look at the nutrition label of your favorite blueberry muffins, blueberry bagels and blueberry cereal. Are blueberries on the label? Are blueberries one of the first 10 ingredients? Is the blueberry referred to as a blueberry bit or a blueberry product?
The health benefits of blueberries are well documented. Food corporations want to capitalize on your desire to eat healthy. But, they have a problem. Real blueberries are expensive.
The food corporations have come up with a solution to this dilemma. They have created something that looks and tastes like a blueberry. It consists of a mixture of sugars, artificial flavoring and food coloring. This blueberry bit or blueberry product costs a fraction of the real deal. Unfortunately, it has little or no nutritional value.
Is it any wonder that we are becoming fatter and fatter? Is it any wonder that rates of diabetes and cancers are rising?
We must be mindful of what we are eating. Most food corporations do not have our best interests at heart. In fact, they may purposefully label their products in a manner to disguise the contents or misrepresent the nutritional value.
More is better. Excess and decadence revered. We live in a consumerist society. It takes a great toll on our spiritual well-being. The push to overconsume is everywhere. Why have one when you can have three for the price of two?! We gorge, then encourage all our friends to join in through social media.
The media makes overconsumption entertainment. Network T.V. programs feature obesity, hoarding, and reality quasi-celebrities engaging in self-indulgent excesses.
Do we consider excess a right? If having more stuff fills our needs, why are we currently experiencing a cultural, spiritual and financial stagnation?
When more energy is devoted to material “stuff” than to tapping into the soul’s needs, it leads to an imbalance. When we fall out of balance, we don’t feel well emotionally, physically or both. Our lives stagnate. We care less about taking care of ourselves, others and our environs.
The drive to overconsume may be a symptom of “soul loss”. We may have suffered a trauma from which we feel we can’t move on. We use things to create walls that render our souls inaccessible. Symptoms of a walled soul are: depression, relationship problems and ignoring obligations. If we don’t have a soul, we attempt to fill ourselves with things that will temporarily make us feel alive. We get trapped into thinking that we can buy happiness. We fill our lives with distractions that distance us from what we don’t want to deal with. We don’t feel. We can’t heal.
What we don’t heal in ourselves we pass on to others–our children, our relationships, the planet.
When we become mindful of our lifestyle, we can stop the cycle of excess. We pursue what we need versus what we want. We become more aware of the needs of others.
No matter how much we want to be different, wherever we go, there we are. You can’t get away from yourself. Go on vacation — there you are. Wherever we are, we are looking out of the same pair of eyes. Whatever we do, it’s still the same person doing it.
In the attempt to get away from being with ourselves, we search for something or someone to make us happy. We’re looking for greener grass. But in every relationship and every situation, there we are again.
Our mind is like a drunken monkey jumping from fear to drama. We are trapped in endless rounds of worries and concerns. “What if this happens… what if I fail..?
We believe happiness is somewhere other than here, and spend too much time looking for it, without realizing it is already with us. Look back and there is pain and regret. Look forward and there is uncertainty.
Just stop. Nothing else is going on. Nothing else is happening. There’s nowhere to go.
What a relief to realize that nothing more is required of us than to just be fully here now without expectations or longings.
Step into sanity and greater connectedness. Being in the moment means having the courage to know we will never be someone other than who we are and who we are is absolutely wonderful. The grass is vividly green exactly where we are.